This Ramadan let’s connect with our families

Welcome to another opportunity to be the honored guests of Allah! We are blessed to experience another month of Ramadan, where we hope that we are able to cleanse our hearts, revive our souls, and come closer to our Creator.

This holy month coincides with a time in our lives where we have found ourselves in a new normal. We have been forced to shed ourselves of the outside world, and reevaluate our internal lives. What were we before eating outside, enjoying each other outside, and using our homes as simply places to regather and sleep? Were we utilizing our sacred, private spaces to connect and build stronger bonds?

And, this, quite frankly, is exactly what the month of Ramadan teaches us. How to control ourselves in this world where everything is right in front of you. How to discipline our souls to think higher, and greater. More than just about what to eat and drink, or how to plan our next getaway.

This year, our family is blessed to have another newly minted baligha in the house. Our second daughter just turned baligh about a month ago. So now our two eldest girls are fasting alongside us, and like most other Muslims, we are forced to honor this holy month solely from our homes. In years past, and even from my own childhood, the month of Ramadan went hand in hand with daily trips to the masjid to take part in children’s classes, and then breaking fast with others and praying together.

We are in Qom and are grateful to be able to spend the entire holy month of Ramadan under the grace of Lady Masooma. In years past we have often been back home in the states during this holy month. Even though the shrine is still closed, we hope as a family to spend this month connecting with each other, as we read Qur’an, pray, and do small activities together.

One thing that Ayatollah Khamenei talked about this year during his speech on the 15th of Shaban, was to focus on partaking in Ramadan worship and activities as a family, since the common culture of breaking fast with others, praying in the masjids, etc., would no longer be an option because of COVID -19.

So how do we make the holy month of Ramadan a beautiful way to connect with our spouses and our kids?

Building stronger family connections during the month of Ramadan

• Decorate your home together – It doesn’t have to cost a lot to count. The fact that you are joining together to get in the Ramadan spirit is what matters.

• Create a suhoor (pre-fast) and iftar (breaking fast) menu – We sat together and wrote up a menu for suhoor and iftar. This helped us keep things simple, talk about not focusing on food solely, and also helped us think about preparing food ahead of time.

• Have some family activities planned –

  –Instill a daily habit of assigning a family member to give some sadaqah, or charity, every day. While this should be a daily habit even outside of the holy month of Ramadan, sometimes we lose momentum, so this holy month can help jumpstart it again.

  –The kids cut out stars with pictures of different topics found in the Holy Qur’an. On the back of the star is a specific verse of the Holy Qur’an pertaining to that topic. Each day one child picks out a star and we read the verse together. They hung them up on the wall. But you could hang them on a string, also.

  –A couple hours before breaking fast we get the whole family involved in preparing the meal. This can include cleaning the table, setting plates/glasses, cutting fruits, making sharbat, etc.

  –An hour after breaking fast together we sit together and read Qur’an and special daily prayers. It gives us a chance to wind down, gather our thoughts, and read the beautiful words of Allah.

• Being mindful – As a family we talk a lot about our responsibilities to each other. Are we helping each other become better Muslims? If someone makes a mistake do we rejoice? Or do we help them avoid that mistake? If someone looks like they need a hand, do we think about sacrificing our free time, and helping?

  –You can help remind each other using letter boards, or make small signs and hang them in your kids’ rooms or in the hallway. This helps keep these reminders subtle, yet constant.

  

InshaAllah one of our goals as parents during this Ramadan is to gain a better connection with our children through implementing these values.

I’ve read a few stories of people who have left the religion of Islam. And one thing that struck me was a commonality in their stories – they admitted they were raised by parents who were not strict adherents of the religion; rather, they followed edicts quite loosely and felt a more traditional connection to the religion instead of looking at it as a way of life.

Unfortunately if our only connection to religion is based on what our parents or grandparents taught us, then our understanding will be quite limited and more likely filled with holes.

In order to have our children feel a more complete connection to Islam we have tried to be clear and consistent in the values that we teach them.

There’s no better way to increase this connection than by doing it together and growing closer to Allah as a family.

May this beautiful month be filled with many blessings for your families.

Forget the sanctions; focus on Iran’s willpower

It hasn’t been the easiest time dealing with COVID-19 in Iran.

For one, the whole world is looking at you under a microscope, as you’re dealing with a dangerous virus.

You’re also under attack by sanctions that are affecting many parts of daily life.

But the many beautiful things I’ve witnessed in this country have left me speechless. And I would hope we don’t just turn Iran into a sob story.

These days many Iranian Americans will speak about sanctions and how Iran is suffering. While it’s true, I beg you to ask those of us living inside the country about the wonderful things also going on.

Iran should not be defined by just sanctions, and the problems. And this unrealistic view of what we “want” Iran to look like.

One of my teachers wanted us to read a book as a class, but since we are all quarantined, she instead gave us directions to send the book to each other via a taxi delivery service. We were given directions to disinfect the book first, and place it in a second plastic bag to avoid any external contamination.

And she also sent a packet of money to help each of us pay for the fare.

Just recently a neighbor of mine mentioned she received a bottle of disinfectant for free from a group working with the Iranian military.

They were handing it out to many residents. And on a short drive outside to pick up medication and groceries, we saw volunteers of the same force in our neighborhood spraying cars down with disinfectant.

There are also stations set up around the city giving free spray-downs.

Iranian students are sewing face masks, seminary students are volunteering at hospitals – this is also Iran.

Ayatollah Syed Ali Khamenei has honored the sacrifices of the Iranian people. He acknowledged their troubles and encouraged the nation to look within and stand stronger. To utilize the talents and skills of the Iranian people so that the country could diffuse the effects of sanctions.

During the pandemic, he has asked the people of Iran to heed the advice and recommendations of medical experts.

If anything in a time of hardship, you want a leader who doesn’t lie to you, treats you with respect, and builds you up. That’s why year after year Iranians still come out in support of the Supreme Leader.

I just saw a beautiful video of a tribute to Iranian medical personnel helping during the COVID-19 pandemic. They are gifted with a piece of carpet from the holy shrine of Imam Reza in Mashhad.

These professionals are given the gift on the day of Imam Hussain’s birthday. A revered leader who fought against injustice. A role model for many Muslims.

The beauty lies in their reactions of this special gift on such a special day.

Why can’t we appreciate an attachment to faith? Especially in such a time of hardship when the entire world is gripped by a microscopic virus.

Honestly these days most of us are left scratching our heads. Our lives have turned upside down. Yet if we look deep within, there’s a small light of hope only ignited by faith in a Higher Being.

Forget the sanctions for a minute. And focus on the strength and love for community. Even if America doesn’t give sanctions relief, will we expect Iranians to lay down and die? No, God willing, they’ll come out stronger than ever before.